The day was unusually quiet. My room was totally cut off from the noises arising from the chaos outside that is prevalent every day. The winds too stopped blowing and so the windows stayed still, rather than banging against the frame. The fishes in the aquarium that would make all sorts of sounds, moving around, playing and fighting, stayed quiet that day. I always wished for silence, peace and serenity but I never thought that silence could be so painful. I couldn’t enjoy it. It seemed to signal the onset of a disaster.
I was standing all alone in the midst of a desert. The sun was shining above me like a blazing ball of fire. But it didn’t matter to me. The moon spreading warmth in its place wouldn’t have changed anything. Hot wind carrying particles of sand hit constantly against my face and eyes but it caused the least stir in me. A cool breeze from the seashore in its place wouldn’t have made me any happier. My throat became parched and dry, and was pleading for atleast a drop of water to quench its thirst. I could spot a pool of water at some distance. I ran at full speed only to find out that it was mirage. I then realised that my life wouldn’t have been any better even if it was a lake full of sweet water.
‘Act fast! There is no time left for you to ponder over the consequences. You hardly have any time left!’ my inner voice kept repeating. Yes, it was indeed true. There was no time left and if I don’t act now, I would be regretting about it my entire life. I was mustering courage to face the reality and accept any of the unintended consequences. But it wasn’t that easy. I knew how things would turn out and how my life would change for the worst, pushing me into an even greater darkness and sorrow than I am currently in. I couldn’t decide whether I need to try which would obviously make things even worse or if I should stay silent and allow things to happen as decided by fate and destiny.
The first sight it was,
We fell in love.
The last talk we had,
The day after wedding.
I do not want to blame her. Neither I am ready to accept that the fault is mine. The reason is unknown but it is clear that our marriage is breaking apart. More than five years it has been since the last time we have talked to each other. We are a married couple living as strangers in the same house. When we were deeply in love, we said to each other that the world would end the day we get separated but it didn’t.
Holding a mug of hot coffee in my hand, I moved in languid steps towards the window. It hadn’t rained so much for the past few years. It seemed to me as if nature was trying to shed all its sorrow by crying to its heart’s content and letting out its pain in the form of rain drops. I too wanted to do the same - cry out to my heart’s content and get rid of all the pain and suffering for ever. But not a drop of tear would come out of my eyes. For days together, I sat in one corner of a dark room, weeping all the time. My eyes got vexed up to an extent where they would never again cooperate and help me get relieved of my sorrow. Only death can separate me from the expanse of sorrow that I am downed in.
Not everything that you perceive is true. The moon is not as small as it seems to be, but gigantic enough to house a million mortals. The innocent looks of the Venus flytrap are nothing but a veil over its true self, waiting to be shed the moment an insect finds its way onto the wings. Not all vows made during marriage are truths coming from the bottom of the heart. If they were, the world wouldn’t have been in as confused a state as it is currently in. Your beloved lover might have gleaming and sparkling eyes that act as a testimony to his truthfulness, but the man and his eyes might be lying every second. When everything around us, right from the celestial objects to the plants and humans are enjoying the warmth of lies, is there a reason for one to speak the truth and is there a possibility that speaking the truth is the right thing to do?
'Will you bring the stars down for me', she asked with a smile on her face staring into his eyes expecting an emphatic yes as an answer. 'Yes', he said tightly clutching her hands indicating total commitment to her. Wishing to be pampered more, she asked the next question, 'Will you bring down the rainbow and make a garland out of it for me?'. 'Yes, I shall and place it around your neck on the day of our marriage', he said with a wink in his eyes. 'What if it doesn’t rain and shine on the day of our wedding', she asked trying to appear as confused as she could. 'I shall bring them too', he whispered in her ears. She laughed and the sound of her laughter bought the butterflies out of their homes that hovered around them giving an appearance of a crown in motion. 'I will protect you like a delicate artefact of glass till the time I die and I would go to any extent for it; and to get closer to you'.