Have I achieved the real success- The success I have dreamt of

Having led a normal life for more than fifteen years, with no ups and downs, a sudden transition landed me amidst ambitions under whose weight I was crushed, and forbidden the right to live as myself. These aims and ambitions were for the society, and for the ones around me, but not for this soul talking to you.

I was initially swayed away towards these goals, for the world makes us believe the false to be the truth. It has the power to manipulate the brain in whichever way it likes to. Struggling day and night was tiresome, when one day I realized that the other paths could take me to the same destination, but in a relaxed way. I wished to go back, but the fear of losing time I have spent and the rejection that would most probably be in store for me, stopped me from doing it.

I continued, when one day, god, having invoked the softer corner of his heart, had sent to me a few mortals to stay with. I was unexperienced to understand that they would stay with me only for a few months and then diverge from me to their destined paths. Unable to understand the eternal truth, I had developed a strong liking, and a bond that is too difficult to be broken even today.

My aims seemed to be only a few inches away, and I cared not much about it for it had receded into the background. What I considered the important task and the goal of my life is to confine those mortals within my sphere of vision.

I was successful. Friendship gave me the happiness that I have never experienced in my life. I was into a new dimension of feelings that only my heart knows. I considered it to be the real life, the life of my dreams. Days passed and the friendship grew even stronger and so did the joy along with it.

Situations reached dramatic heights when one day, everything crashed down from heights of the peaks, down to the earth. My dreams were shattered into pieces. I was left all alone. My friends had left me.

Was I the cause for it? No, it wasn’t my mistake. Then, why is it that I have to face the consequences?

There was no one around me to give an assuring hand, holding with I have walked on all the roads that have passed me. I was helpless and carving for my friend. I could do no more than wipe the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.

There was no one to console me for no one knows that I was alone. What others saw in the days that followed was an illusion. The truth had buried itself, deep in my heart, for it liked the illusion, as its set goals were safer in it.

What was it to do? I could not question anyone about the mental trauma I was experiencing. Even if I gathered the courage on some occasions, I was given the reply of silence that spoke pages. I was unable to console myself, not an idea of what the future has in store for me.

But with a belief in destiny, I continued on the goal set initially for the society, for that was the only thing I could do. Uninterestingly, I continued, with a hope that what I wished for would be presented to me.

Finally, the day came and the goal for the society was to a certain extent a success, with a slight failure that I kept experiencing throughout my life. But the person whom I wanted to be by my side for ever had walked a great distance that I can never reach. I have failed in my life. What I wished for is out of my reach. The bond I have developed was too strong from my side to be broken.

What am I to do now? I wish to die.

Blindfolded by the society

The eyes, a gateway to the world, can perceive even the slightest movement of an entity to analyze the happenings and act according to the impulses sent by the heart. Everything in this ideal situation was moving on the right path.

Expressions were expressed in the way they need to be and words were spoken in the right way. But one day, the eyes were blindfolded by the society.

Rays of truth, the faintest, did cross the black cloth to reach the eyes but the blindfolded eyes did deceive themselves. They accepted to remain blindfolded seeing false images rather than standing against the committed sin, to visualize the truth.

The conversion of the truth to a lie and the lie to a truth did become the order of the day. Messages were interpreted wrongly and a natural consequence was that the actions that in reality were to be wronged were made to climb peaks by the society that had blindfolded the eyes. False praises, broken promises and unnecessary talks have driven then heart, that was a few days earlier the purest thing on this world, next to god. What was ultimately left was the false glory that it was receiving. But where had the true self disappeared?

Ages did pass when ultimately the day came when it was to take its last breath. Rather than feeling pity towards itself, the eyes were in a joyful mood for it was the day the blindfolded eyes will be able to see the truth. Only death has the power to do it.

Reflection in the mirror-In search of what constitutes my life

I recently got a chance to spend time at my own pace, entertaining myself to the maximum to resume my work later on with the best moments from this ‘leisure’ to be visited often from the vast memory of my grey cells.

Scanning through every TV channel that my cable operator had provided with, a full one hour was consumed with no result of any satisfaction of being at home. However, a few minutes later, something caught my attention. An impulse from my spine prevented me from pressing the button that would land me on just one another channel, that could be either the one dominating the network with high TRP ratings or the one that is in search for viewers, ready to offer a few dollars as a token of appreciation and to retain its assumed users.

A man dressed in the simplest but the best way one could was standing in front of a huge mirror that was reflecting the streaks of light incident on it from nowhere, but from the luminous eyes of that man. The spark in his eyes, if one could notice was searching vividly for some answer which could be answered by none but his self conscience. His lips were engaged in speaking out to himself. There was the least stir or the shake in his moments. He seemed to be inclined to no other thing than finding the ‘light of revelation’ for his eternal quest.

He appeared to me even greater than the Lord Buddha who had spent ages under the peepal tree seeking the eternal meaning of life and death. I say so, because hardly anyone, except the rishis and sanyasis did benefit from what Buddha had preached the world. The teachings of that young Siddhartha could never make anyone complete in oneself. It had just laid the foundation of a new cult.

But now, the man was seeking the knowledge of himself, the knowledge of who constituted his little kingdom of peace and happiness and the details of those who really need him in their lives. He seemed to be engulfed by emotions that were a consequence of his life on this earth for a long period of over seventeen years, every second of which had presented to him a great deal of problems that he needed to tackle.

He seeks not the secret place where Alibaba had hid the tones of gold stolen by him not the entrance to heaven or hell, that had been so much talked of in Holy Scriptures. He seeks the answer to the biggest question of himself, the question that decides the journey of the rest of his life.

It is a human’s attempt to understand one another’s feelings and the need of another person in our lives. It looks foolish for an innocent, as God’s grace for those who believe in karma yogis, as a tool of self introspection for the psychologists and as a natural human behavior resulting from love, for myself and the many like minded people.

Hope the mission succeeds.